Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
