That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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