just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
