quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
