just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
