I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
