eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
