The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
