Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
