I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
