the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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