look no pants
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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