i would punch a child for taco bell
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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