ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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