I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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