Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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