I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My vagina just recognized that song.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
