He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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