Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
