do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
