are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
