I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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