that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
