i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
