playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i came on her dog
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
