I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
