he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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