TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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