so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
