dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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