Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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