What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
