Got a toothbrush?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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