Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize