For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
