Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize