you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize