I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
