these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
