I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
