oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
