i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
