No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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