I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Vodka?
Forever.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize