frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
