I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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