she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize