Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
