Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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