How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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