The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
