You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
