i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
