omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
