Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
