My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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