In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
