This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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