Do you still have your period?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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