to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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