I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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