So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We talked him into tasing himself.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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