How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
