He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
