A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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