i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
